


Waking Up to Memories

by pandorasv13



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Denial of Feelings, M/M, Memories, Swearing, Terminal Illnesses, Tragedy, True Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let me die tonight.<br/>Let me feel the release.<br/>Please, I can feel it. I can feel it already.<br/>Just let me go.<br/>I don’t want to be awake anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

_Let me die tonight._

_Let me feel the release._

_Please, I can feel it. I can feel it already._

_Just let me go._

_I don’t want to be awake anymore._

His skin was crawling with heat, every nerve on end. The mere breeze could send him violently over the edge, shudders racing up his back, dragging through his muscle and blood. Breathing slower, he tried to imagine a calmer place where he could just…be.

No longer would his life be his disease. It would be something greater and finer like before. He couldn’t even sum up the energy to cry. There were empty tear ducts, the act of shedding liquid sorrow too painful. He didn’t want to think about how many nerves were around his eyes, or how much he would want to claw his own corneas up.

“Is he awake?” a foreign voice asked.

“Yes, he’s always awake,” that beautiful, deep voice vibrated through the room. A body leaned over him, never touching, only hovering, “Ryeowook, I’m home.”

Ryeowook didn’t respond as his lips quirked up in a bitter little smile. Where was the love and tenderness? Where the fuck was the warmth that supposedly came with those gentle words? It was gone. Even his husband had stopped caring. Who could blame him though? Years had passed and still nothing had improved for Ryeowook.

“I have a business trip, so I’m going to be out of town again. A new doctor has come to take care of you. I love you, Ryeowook. Feel better.” Then his voice was fading as his footsteps grew farther and farther away.

He couldn’t stop himself when he turned around, pain spiking up and down his body. Gasping, he gazed after the man he had chosen to spend the rest of his life with and saw that he was already beyond the threshold. “K-Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook breathed, lips trembling, “I love you, too…p-please don’t go,” he felt his eyes growing heavier, muscles and veins burning and slicing.

That unfamiliar figure came back into the room and Ryeowook’s eyes fluttered open, looking up at the beautiful face. The slim man had long dark hair and a little bit of crazy glimmering in his dark eyes. “Hello, I’m Heechul,” the person introduced softly, crouching down so they were eye level, “I’ll take good care of you, Ryeowook, so please trust me.”

“Kyuhyunnie,” he mumbled, face crumpling, “I want my Kyuhyun. I want him…please bring him back…”

Heechul listened gently to the cries for help, not able to do anything but sit there as Ryeowook continued mumbling into the night about his husband.

 

Morning light streamed through the window, splashing on his body and pulling him from the blackness. Ryeowook wished he hadn’t been pulled out. It felt beautiful and blissful. Waking up was supposed to bring happiness and refreshment, yet he felt none of that. All he wanted was to close his eyes again and sink deeper into what was empty and silent.

Ryeowook heard soft rustling and turned his head, groggy eyes flickering open. “Who are you?” he whispered, coughing as he tried to clear his hoarse throat.

A beautiful man – woman? – looked down at Ryeowook, a tray of food in his hands. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” Heechul questioned, setting the silver tray down.

“I’m fine…,” he mumbled, “are you my new doctor? …will you try and save me?” Ryeowook gazed at him hopefully, wanting nothing more than for him to say that he wasn’t there to save him. That, in fact, he was there to end his life finally.

The answer was expected though as the words were formed by perfect lips. “Yes, I’m here to help you. If I wasn’t, then I’m sure your husband would attempt to hurt me.”

Ryeowook said nothing, fully resenting those assuring words. No matter how much he loved Kyuhyun, he already knew that he was giving up on him. Kyuhyun wasn’t going to be his forever. Even if it took a few more years, eventually Ryeowook’s heart would stop and then they would be nothing. Their marriage would be over. Kyuhyun would find someone else to fill his heart.

“So how did you two meet?” Heechul prompted as he sat on a chair beside the bedridden young man. There was a food platter resting over the covers of Ryeowook’s bed from which both of them were taking small snacks.

Ryeowook smiled tiredly, his slender fingers pale and smooth as he picked up a slice of melon, bringing it to his lips. The pain had subsided for a while, dulling just enough for him to hold a casual conversation. “We were in junior high—”

“—junior high?!” the doctor interrupted, eyes widening. “That snarky little butt has such a sweet love story?”

He giggled gently, eyes twinkling with humor, “Kyuhyun is really kind, Heechul-hyung. We met in junior high in choir and we dated all through our schooling.” Ryeowook sighed, thinking about how cute they were when they first met. “The first thing he ever said to me was…”

 

_“Are you sure you’re not a girl? My umma says that if it looks like kimchi, and it tastes like kimchi, it must be kimchi. And if you look like a girl, and you sing like a girl, you must be a girl, right?” Kyuhyun demanded, frowning at the bewildered Ryeowook._

_He was holding a sheet of music, blinking a few times as he replayed the boy’s words. Weren’t they in an all boys’ school? How could Ryeowook be a girl? That wasn’t allowed. “Uhm…I don’t think so,” he answered somewhat uncertainly, looking down at himself, “I’m not, am I?”_

_Kyuhyun scanned the boy with his eyes, frowning and slamming his hand against Ryeowook’s chest. He felt him all around, finding nothing there. “…I guess not,” he muttered, still suspicious._

_“If I sing like a girl, am I a bad singer as a boy?” Ryeowook’s expression faltered, suddenly worried._

_A sweet smile crossed Kyuhyun’s face and he shook his head, “I like your voice. It’s my favorite in choir.” He frowned, cheeks growing redder, “I was actually hoping you were a girl…my umma says I have to find a girl to marry someday but I’ll only marry someone whose voice I like.”_

_Ryeowook flushed, looking down at the floor, “…y-yeah, girls are probably better…”_

_A hand closed around his, tugging him down the hallway, “I don’t think so. Boys are a lot more fun than girls. C’mon, we’re going to go practice singing. We should do a duet!”_

“…he said that and you fell for him?” Heechul raised an eyebrow.

Ryeowook pouted, “Don’t judge me, hyung!” He leaned back gingerly against the soft pillows, looking up at the mural painted on their vaulted ceiling. It was beautiful and bright, just the way Kyuhyun had wished for it to be. “He’s the best person I’ve ever met…I’m so lucky to have him.”

A soft smile touched Heechul’s lips and he lightly ran his fingertips through the boy’s silky tresses. “He’s luckier to have you than you are to have him.”

He didn’t reply – unable to give a satisfying reply, to be honest. Kyuhyun was everything he had ever dreamed for in a lover, friend, and husband. It was just in recent years that things had started to shake. But it wasn’t Kyuhyun’s fault. He wasn’t the one that got sick and changed everything.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

_“Shut up. Just shut up.” Kyuhyun growled at his mother. Ryeowook was sitting in the other room, capable of hearing everything uttered by the two people. He lowered his eyes, pulling his knees up to his chest._

_A ragged sigh fell from the woman’s lips. “You’re just saying that because you know I’m right, Kyuhyun. It’s fine if you want to experiment but you can’t be serious when you say you want to_ marry _that little fag. Your future will be over!” she snapped._

_“If he’s a fag, then your son is one too because I do love him. He’s not something to play with. I just thought you might want to actually see your son happy but bitches like you—” A loud crashing noise cut off the words._

_Ryeowook stood up all of a sudden, eyes wide with horror. Stumbling out of the room, he hurried into the kitchen, seeing Kyuhyun holding his reddened cheek. There was more than fury in those eyes – there was loathing. Ryeowook touched his lover’s arm, tugging at him while avoiding the deadly glower of his mother. “Let’s go…,” he whispered hoarsely._

_Kyuhyun didn’t shake him off, but he didn’t let himself be pulled away either. “I hope you fucking burn in your stupid hell,” he murmured coldly, turning away and taking Ryeowook along with him._

_There were screams of disdain and degrading words to be spewed but neither of them reacted, already nearing the door. Kyuhyun shoved it open, not bothering to slam it behind him. All the while, Ryeowook watched him with steady, disbelieving eyes._

_When they were back to the car, he stopped his lover. Kyuhyun looked down at Ryeowook, the anger dying down when their eyes met. “You’re going to regret doing this to your family, Kyu,” Ryeowook said softly, tears finally falling now, “…I-I’m not worth it. Your family is more important—”_

_“—I’m going to tell you what I just told her,” Kyuhyun interrupted, closing his hands around the smaller man’s face, tugging him up, “if she disapproves of you then she disapproves of me. Any mother who throws away her son isn’t a mother.”_

_“But Kyuhyun—!” He was silenced by lips pressing down on his own. Fingers swept away the tears and all Ryeowook could do was melt in Kyuhyun’s touch._

 

“Were you dreaming again?”

Ryeowook opened his eyes carefully, turning his head to see Heechul sitting beside him. Oddly enough, he had grown used to seeing the doctor next to his bed. In a funny way, it had become comforting to know someone was there the moment his eyes opened and pulled him away from what made him happiest.

It lessened the blow of reality.

“Yeah, I was,” he replied, reaching for the cup of water on his bedside table. Ryeowook’s arm froze not even halfway up and into the air. Crying out, he shut his eyes tightly, gripping his burning arm. Gritting his teeth, he tried to stay perfectly still, fingernails digging into the smooth, pale skin.

Heechul got up, grabbing a syringe from the case of medical supplies in his bag. When Ryeowook saw it, he violently shook his head, jerking away from the doctor. “No!” he shouted, “Don’t touch me with that!”

“It’ll relieve the pain, I promise,” Heechul said calmly, gently. He pulled on the younger male’s arm but Ryeowook continued to fight back, rolling completely to the other side of the bed.

“It’ll go away in a while,” he panted, bile roiling in the pit of his stomach. Ryeowook trembled harshly, staying far away from the confused doctor. “I don’t want to be numbed…I don’t want that,” his whispers were broken by sobs, eyes clenching shut.

Heechul reluctantly put away the numbing agent, sitting back down in his chair and watching silently as Ryeowook fought with himself. This was probably the sickest disease for the loved ones of the victim. As bad as it was trying to combat your own illness, it was harder knowing that someone couldn’t embrace you to make it the tiniest bit better. All anyone could do was watch – watch as this already weakened body writhed and shivered with a pain you couldn’t even measure.

Several minutes later, the attack came to a slow halt and Ryeowook had blacked out. Heechul didn’t dare touch him, just gazed at the limp figure who struggled to regulate his breathing. Standing up, the doctor strode out of the room, dialing Kyuhyun’s phone number.

It took three dial tones for someone to pick up.

“Hello?” Kyuhyun’s voice asked through the receiver.

Heechul clenched his fist, “Hello, it’s me. Ryeowook just had an attack—”

“—he gets those frequently. Why are you calling?”

Taken back, his eyes widened and he glanced back at the now slumbering patient before walking a little farther away and lowering his voice. “I thought you might be concerned. I tried to give him a paralysis drug but he adamantly refused. Do you know why?”

There was silence and then Kyuhyun’s own voice grew chillier, “Just do your job, Heechul.”

The call ended.

Heechul slipped it into his pocket, brows furrowing together in confusion. Sighing, he glanced back at Ryeowook and then headed down the stairs. The boy usually slept for hours on end after a particularly bad attack. It had only been a few days since they met, but after all that time Heechul already saw enough violent reactions.

Did Kyuhyun know that the episodes were becoming closer and closer together? When was the last time he had sat beside Ryeowook and watched over him instead of having a nurse or doctor do it?

The backdoor opened, a Chinese man coming inside. Heechul smiled when he saw the foreigner carrying a bag of groceries. “You’re such a good maid. What was your name again?” he asked, following the younger, soft featured man into the kitchen.

Looking up, the Chinese man shook his head, setting down his groceries. “I…no speak…,” he fumbled for words, pointing at Heechul somewhat helplessly.

“Right, right, no Korean,” he muttered, leaning against the counter to look at that face again. Thinking about his former Chinese classes, he put together a sentence, asking, “Ni jiao shen me ming zi?”

The man’s eyes widened in surprise and then he smiled, nodding politely. “Han Geng.”

Heechul returned the smile widely and touched the man’s face, “Nice to meet you, Hangeng. I’m Heechul. Ah…I mean, Wǒ de míng zì shì Kim Heechul.”

Chuckling, Hangeng turned back to his food and other items, going about beginning lunch. The older male watched him for a while, smiling softly at the ease with which Hangeng went about preparing food. He was handsome – but more so cute. It was like watching a housewife.

Heechul glanced up at the staircase and decided to go check on Ryeowook, not wanting to leave the boy alone for too long.

When he arrived back upstairs, the young man was still asleep. Heechul took up his chair again, opened a book, and began to read.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

There were bright lights. They flashed and blinded, shimmered and swallowed. Ryeowook gazed blankly at them, allowing his eyes to burn and liquefy with discomfort. Since when did his room have a ceiling fan? It didn’t right? He smiled at it, tilting his head and opening his mouth to praise it.

In another flash though, he was blinking and watching the fan morph into the white canopy of his king size bed. There was no one beside him, as usual. Ryeowook wiped away the tears he had woken up with. “Just a dream…,” he mumbled.

“You like to sleep because you dream, right?” Heechul prompted softly.

Ryeowook nodded slightly, “That’s the only time I can see the world for what I’ve always wanted it to be.”

“…I’m not going to lie to you, Ryeowook,” he said slowly, eyes somber, “I don’t know how much time you have left. Although I’ve only been watching over you for this short weekend, I can’t imagine that you’ll be strong enough to make it to even the end of the week.”

He played with his fingers, gazing down at the pale, deteriorating bones. “I know…,” Ryeowook smiled faintly, “I can feel it.” Glancing up at Heechul, he chuckled very quietly, “It’s okay…don’t look at me like that, Heechul-hyung. I’ve had a lot of fun just being able to wake up with someone beside me.”

Heechul covered his face, biting down on his lip as tears continued relentlessly down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, shaking his head, “I can’t do anything for you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Ryeowook insisted, “you can’t help it. It’s been almost three years now. I’ve had plenty of time to say goodbye.”

He looked up, pain stricken, “…and what about Kyuhyun? Have you said goodbye yet?”

“He refuses to,” the younger male responded softly, “…he won’t say goodbye.”

Heechul was having a hard time believing that Kyuhyun could be that desperate. By the way he was acting, it just seemed like he didn’t care anymore – that he had given up on Ryeowook. Masking the doubt, he decided to humor the boy, not wanting to hurt him anymore than he was already being hurt. “Is there anyone else you want to talk to before…before it becomes too hard?”

Ryeowook shook his head, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Could you go keep Hangeng-hyung company? He’s been taking it hard and I know…that it’s probably more difficult for him to keep sticking around knowing I’m going to be gone soon,” he smiled a bit, “…besides, there’s no reason to stop love from blooming, right?”

Not saying anything in reply, Heechul smiled helplessly, looking like he had fallen in love with the boy lying on his death bed. Leaning over, he gently brushed his fingers through Ryeowook’s hair, kissing the air just above him, “You’re too good for Kyuhyun.”

“No I’m not,” he mumbled back, “we’re perfect.”

“…maybe.” Then Heechul left the room, taking the boy’s advice and approaching the man that had caught him so easily.

 

_“No, Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun pleaded, shaking his head as he sat in the chair beside their bed, “just go to bed and sleep it off.”_

_Growing angry, Ryeowook glowered at his husband, saying, “I want to touch you, Kyuhyun! I want you to touch me like before! I swear I won’t feel pain. It’s okay!”_

_“You don’t know that!” he shouted back, lips shaking with fear and eyes shivering with desperation, “Ryeowook, I don’t want to take the risk. Please…”_

_He grabbed the book off the nightstand, hitting his arm with it over and over again. “See? I don’t feel anything. That paralysis drug works. You don’t have to worry,” he assured hopefully. Ryeowook reached out, holding Kyuhyun’s face with both of his weakened hands. “See? I don’t feel anything. I can touch you…you can touch me. It’ll be okay.”_

_The resolve in the handsome young man shattered and suddenly he was pressing forward, closing his mouth over Ryeowook’s. Jerking the blanket away, Kyuhyun attacked his spouse, not able to remember the last time he had touched him. “I love you,” he breathed, fingers tangling in the other male’s hair as he tilted his head, kissing him more deeply._

_Ryeowook smiled with all of his heart, returning every single touch with just as much vigor – even if he wasn’t able to feel Kyuhyun on his fingertips._

_The next several minutes passed in a flurry as Kyuhyun stripped down both of them and slowly molded their bodies together, holding Ryeowook close as he moaned softly at the absolute intimacy they had been unable to achieve in years. Kyuhyun whispered breathless words, moving tenderly and carefully inside of his husband._

_“Are you really okay?” he asked Ryeowook gently, eyes swimming with pleasure and warmth._

_Ryeowook wanted to nod his head but he couldn’t do it. The light in his eyes had disappeared to be replaced by that familiar dark agony. He cried silently, the palms of his hands covered in blood from digging his nails into the smooth flesh. “I-I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, Kyuhyun,” he begged, sobbing as he started writhing under the frozen man. Ryeowook’s sobs became screams, body quaking with so many attacked nerves. “P-Please get off of me!” he yelled. “You’re hurting me, Kyuhyun! It’s hurts so much…”_

_And all at once, the color faded, the sound died, and Kyuhyun was far away from his inconsolable love. There was a wall erecting itself – one that Ryeowook could see forming as he gazed into those dark, broken depths._

He smiled bitterly at the memory, rolling onto his side. Wanting a sweeter memory to end with, Ryeowook closed his eyes once more, flipping through his supply of memories. Finding one that he liked, he replayed it in his mind, relaxing at the past.

 

_There was no one in the park at that hour of the night. Ryeowook trudged through the snow, a scarf wrapped around his face to keep him warm. It hadn’t made any sense why Kyuhyun had called him out so late. After their huge fight earlier he thought it was probably over. The thought only then crossed his mind that Kyuhyun might be planning to break up with him._

_Pushing the thought aside, Ryeowook made it to the playground, seeing his lover sitting on the plastic bridge of the jungle gym. Slowly, Ryeowook walked over to him, standing in front of Kyuhyun for a moment. “Why are we here? I’ve never been to this park before.”_

_“Yeah, I know.”_

_Ryeowook blinked, sitting down beside the other boy. “So why are we here?”_

_Kyuhyun turned to look at him and then pulled down Ryeowook’s scarf, pressing their lips together and then moved away slowly. “There’s always been something bad about all of the other places we’ve been together. I just wanted to say this in a place without sad memories.”_

_“H-Huh?” he stammered, confused._

_Laughing softly, Kyuhyun took one of Ryeowook’s hands, tugging the glove off. From his pocket he withdrew a silver ring, sliding it onto his lover’s middle finger, “I finally saved enough money to get an engagement ring. So…here.” He looked up, smiling._

_Ryeowook’s blushed bright red, eyes darting between Kyuhyun and the ring. “B-But…y-you didn’t even propose…”_

_“Proposing is for confirmation. I don’t need confirmation,” he stated, tilting the boy’s face up, resting their foreheads against one another, “We’re meant to be together. Never forget that.”_

_He nodded, crying again. Ryeowook giggled a little when he saw the pout on Kyuhyun’s face. Wrapping his arms around the latter’s waist, he smiled, nuzzling closer. “You’re right…you don’t need confirmation. We’re perfect.”_

_“Yeah, we’re perfect.”_


	4. Chapter 4

 

Kyuhyun sat down at a table across from another man. Opening the menu immediately, he scanned the options and then set it back down, deciding against eating anything. Eyes wandering outside, he saw a broad green lawn stretching out. There were golfers littered here and there, looking like little white pegs on a game board.

“You’re seriously too skinny to be skipping meals like that.”

“Shut up, Eunhyuk.”

“At least look at me when you boss me around,” he muttered, sighing and looking up when the waiter appeared. After ordering smoothly, the worker walked away and Eunhyuk focused his attention once again on the man who seemed so distant. “…you don’t have to be here you know. I know you’re going through a rough—”

Kyuhyun put a hand up, stopping the man from talking anymore. “You don’t know and I would like to keep it that way.”

“You can’t just pretend that it isn’t happening,” he snapped, shoving Kyuhyun’s hand down. “He’s going to die soon and you’re acting like it won’t happen.”

His hand curled into a fist beneath Eunhyuk’s. “I’m not acting like it won’t happen!” Kyuhyun nearly shouted, jerking his hand away and standing up. His eyes were ringed black, skin paler than usual.

Eunhyuk stood up as well, grabbing the younger man’s arm and dragging him roughly out of the restaurant. “I’m _sick_ of this, Kyuhyun! You can’t keep avoiding him! Are you really going to let him die all alone? You’re going to let him look at another’s man’s face as he dies?”

“Why are you so bent on him dying, Eunhyuk?!” Kyuhyun tried to walk away again, but the other male stopped him, gripping his shoulders tightly.

He took a ragged breath, meeting Kyuhyun’s eyes sadly. There were tears dripping down then as his lips trembled in unsaid words. “…That doctor called but you were in another room. I didn’t want to take the chance of him not leaving a message so I picked up.” Eunhyuk shook his head slowly, “Kyuhyun…he’s not going to make it to the end of the week. He’s just not.”

 

_“H-Hey, what’s going on?!” Kyuhyun shouted, grabbing the doctor’s arm. He looked back at where Ryeowook was shaking and crying on the couch. “He was fine just a little while ago! Did I do something wrong?”_

_The doctor was quiet for a while, and then said he wasn’t sure. If they could, it would be best to go to the hospital. However, when they attempted to pick up Ryeowook, he just screamed and sobbed harder, unable to stop the shakes and pains thundering through his body._

_Days passed with each attack becoming longer and more than twice a day. Kyuhyun had tried to hold Ryeowook close and let him cry to him, but it never worked. The mere touch was making him volatile._

_And so they didn’t touch._

_“Do we have a diagnosis?” he asked the doctor one day a month after the first attack._

_The man just gave him that look and said, “We still don’t know. It may be a disease we’ve never seen. Your life partner’s bones are wearing down with each episode and at the same time, each episode is causing the breakdown of his red and white blood cells. I’ve never seen something like this.”_

_Kyuhyun nodded stoically, masking how much acid was daring to rise up and burn his esophagus. “I see,” he said softly, “is there any way to fix him?”_

_“…I’m sorry.”_

_Once the doctor left, Kyuhyun walked upstairs to Ryeowook’s room and gazed down at the slumbering face. He kneeled down beside the bed, lowered his head, and cried silently._

“Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun panted, bursting into the bedroom, eyes wild and red.

The man in the bed opened his eyes, a smile parting his lips. “Kyuhyun?” He said quietly, reaching out for him.

In the blink of an eye, Kyuhyun was kneeling beside his bed, taking that hand without care for whether or not it was hurting Ryeowook. He kissed the skinny, chilly fingers with everything he had, shoulder shaking with unshed tears. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeated, choking on his sobs.

Heechul slowly moved out of the room, closing the door to give them privacy. A smile graced his features and then he looked over to where Hangeng was leaning against the banister, covering his face. Heechul walked over to him, enveloping him in a hug and pulling the man’s head down to his shoulder.

“Don’t be sorry,” Ryeowook breathed, eyes twinkling with happiness. The pain couldn’t compare to how much he had missed the touch of Kyuhyun’s hands and lips. “Welcome home…I haven’t told you that in a long time,” he murmured remorsefully.

Kyuhyun shook his head vigorously, looking up to gaze into those beautiful eyes. “I haven’t been home enough for you to say it,” he managed brokenly, smiling weakly.

Ryeowook nodded, leaning forward and feeling Kyuhyun doing the same. For the briefest of moments, their lips touched. But that was enough. It was surely enough. The bedridden man sighed with relief, lying back on the pillows, eyes drooping. “I’m still tired, Kyu…I’m going to sleep.”

“Hmm?” he squeezed Ryeowook’s hand, scooting forward and running his fingers through the other male’s hair. “No baby, you have to stay awake. Stay awake so we can talk more, please? Don’t go to sleep…I haven’t talked to you enough,” Kyuhyun was growing hysterical, eyes racing as he tried to keep Ryeowook awake. “Please sweetheart, don’t close your eyes,” he begged, vision blurring with tears, “keep them open and look at me. I need you to look at me!”

Ryeowook giggled, head turning side to side slowly. “We’re perfect…remember?”

Kyuhyun swallowed hard, nodding, “We’re perfect.”

Then his eyes closed and his hand went limp.

He stayed watching over Ryeowook for a few moments, remembering how beautiful he looked even to the end. Kyuhyun smiled tenderly, eyes shaking even as the tears stopped. “I’ll never say goodbye,” he whispered, resting his head on the blankets, still holding onto Ryeowook’s hand, “and confirmation isn’t needed either, right?” Kyuhyun laughed inaudibly, eyes falling closed…

 

Heechul opened the door to the bedroom, seeing the two sleeping peacefully. Walking slowly over to them, he blinked in surprise at seeing their interlaced fingers. A sudden jolt rocked his body and leaned over Ryeowook, checking his pulse.

Heart sinking, he moved over to Kyuhyun, pressing his fingers to his neck as well.

Hangeng came into the room then, looking at Heechul worriedly. The latter shook his head, pressed a finger to his lips and walked out of the room to call the funeral home. His fingers were shaking as he tried to dial. A hand closed over his, catching his attention. Hangeng steadied himself, looking at Heechul with a mixture of hope and something sadder. "In China...," he said softly, "people say couples who are truly in love will die soon after the other dies."  
  
Smiling faintly, Heechul wrapped his arms around the other man.

_Kyuhyun opened his eyes slowly, looking around to see a white room. There were silk curtains framing an arch window and a fireplace before him. His hair was flattened and fixed, as was his clothing. A black tuxedo fit his figure and he wore white gloves, one of which held a cream colored invitation of sorts. Yawning, he stretched and stood up from the ornately carved chair._

_Turning in a circle, he studied the area and then headed towards the door, reaching out and turning the glass knob. There was a soft click and then Kyuhyun found himself dropped into a grassy field._

_Stumbling, his eyes shined with pleasant surprise. There was a tall tree up ahead and a little ways off of it was a resort. Kyuhyun walked towards it, stepping onto a wooden path and onto an accessible first floor balcony. Below him were water and foliage as well as a few boats. He kept walking, pushing past the transparent white curtains._

_The room distorted and reformed itself into an apartment. Kyuhyun walked through the tiny entry hall, past the similarly small kitchen, and into the main living room. There was someone lying on the floor, one hand raised up to the ceiling fan._

_Ryeowook turned his head, smiling brightly – the light fixture spilling golden rays down on him. “Welcome home, Kyuhyun!”_

_“Do you really like living here, sweetheart?” Kyuhyun cooed, flopping down on his stomach and kissing his husband’s lips. A smirk touched his lips at the pet name and then that evil expression widened when he noticed the dark blush on Ryeowook’s face._

_The latter nodded with certainty and then reached up, caressing Kyuhyun’s face gently. “I love it here,” Ryeowook whispered, kissing him with a grin._

_“And why is that?” Kyuhyun returned the soft touches, chuckling._

_Ryeowook glanced back up at the ceiling fan. “Because when we’re here, nothing changes. We can be here forever.”_

 

 


End file.
